New year, new path?

New Year is traditionally a time of resolutions and new beginnings. For some of us this will be a new hobby, an ambitious exercise plan, or an intention to refocus our priorities on something important to us. Others of us might go for something more light-hearted such as my decision a few years ago to learn to brush my teeth with my left hand (partial success!). Or perhaps this New Year signals time for a change in direction for you, a sense that God is calling you into something new?

We may approach this time with mixed emotions; new beginnings can often also mean we have experienced an ending of something else, that we are at a crossroads in life, or we may have some barriers to overcome before entering this new season. It might feel scary, exciting, exhausting, hopeful, lonely, or maybe a mixture of all of those at different times. These feelings are understandable and okay.

It’s helpful to remember we are not alone. The Lord promises to be with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9, Matthew 28:20), and our pathway forwards can be guided by God’s calling on our lives. What are you called to? Are you feeling a nudge to explore a new path?

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9

Vocation is for all God’s people and is about working out who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing. This takes discernment and time. One of the ways in which you can begin to explore this is through the ‘Called: Mission, Ministry & Me’ events. The events combine teaching, discussion, reflection and prayer to seek together God’s call for us as part of the Body of Christ. There is the opportunity to hear vocation stories from those in different roles in the Diocese, both lay and ordained, and to imagine how God might be inviting us, each with our own unique shape, to join in with God’s mission.

Perhaps this might be your New Year activity?

Here are some comments from those who have attended previous courses:

“It was an extremely well- thought out course. The pace was good and met the needs of a diverse group of people, all of whom were made to feel welcomed and valued. There was a clear structure, but scope for fluidity; the Holy Spirit was definitely at work.”

“Offered people the opportunity to hear from and talk to people who have been through this and are actively following their individual vocations”

“I realise now, that call has been with me for years, in one form or another, but perhaps remained dormant, or frustrated, for want of a sympathetic and understanding heart.”

“I realised that vocation is a lifetime journey not a specific end point to be striving for”

The next event is a five week evening course running on Tuesday evenings 7:30-9:30pm, from 14 January – 11 February 2020 at All Saints Church in Warwick. There are also further dates available later in the year, so click here to find out more and book your place. 

If you have questions, contact Serving Christ Learning Mentor, Jen Stewart, on or DDO & Vocations Adviser, The Rev’d Ellie Clack, on  

We look forward to journeying alongside you as your discover your next steps.

Making Space: Leading Quiet Days & Retreats

Both learning communities are now fully booked. If you would like to talk to Lisa or Jen about ideas or support in this area, please contact us and we will be happy to chat with you: 

This Learning Community is an opportunity to gather together with others to share ideas, inspiration and encouragement that will help develop your skills in making space for others to encounter God through quiet days/evenings and retreats. 

We will meet together five times over the year, with each session focusing on a different element of planning a quiet day, and having a different theme following the pattern of the liturgical year (advent, lent etc.). Sessions will be interactive with opportunities to share and discuss ideas and challenges along with input from the group facilitators and time for reflection and prayer. 

No experience of running quiet days is required! The events you’d like to run might be anything from a simple prayer station in your church for visitors to access, to a full day retreat. You are welcome whether this is an area you already dabble in, you’re an old hand at planning retreats and are looking for fresh ideas or you would like to put something like this on at your church but have no clue where to start! Bring your enthusiasm and we’ll all share our knowledge and creativity and go away encouraged and inspired.

To find out more about this area, contact Lisa Holt or Jen Stewart via


Group 1 – Stoke St Michael (FULLY BOOKED)

Dates : 

Wednesday 6 November 2019
Wednesday 29 January 2020
Wednesday 25 March 2020
Wednesday 6 May 2020
Wednesday 15 July 2020

Time: Meeting from 7:00 – 9:00pm (beginning with refreshments)

Location: Stoke St Michael’s Church, Coventry, CV2 4BG

Group 2 – Wellesbourne (FULLY BOOKED)

Dates : 

Wednesday 15 January 2020
Wednesday 11 March 2020
Wednesday 29 April 2020
Wednesday 8 July 2020
Wednesday 30 September 2020

Time: Meeting from 7:00 – 9:00pm (beginning with refreshments)

Location: St Peter’s Church, Wellesbourne, CV35 9LS

                           — Spaces are limited to enable the most effective learning environment —

There is no charge to be part of a Learning Community. The EQuip Learning Communities are predominantly intended for lay people, but if you’re ordained and interested, do get in touch!

Called: Mission, Ministry & Me

We are all called by God.

Vocation, (from the Latin vocare meaning ‘to call’) is for all God’s people and is about working out who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing. We are called in many different ways and to many different things. Working out what this calling looks and feels like takes discernment and time. One of the ways in which you can explore this is through the Called: Mission, Ministry & Me’ events which create space to explore, wonder and listen to God.

On Saturday 15 June we will gather at The Hope Centre in Coventry for a day of teaching, discussion, reflection and prayer to seek together God’s call for us as part of the Body of Christ. There will be the opportunity to hear vocation stories from those in different roles in the Diocese, both lay and ordained, and to imagine how God might be inviting us, each with our own unique shape, to join in with God’s mission. Bookings are now open for this event; click here to find out more.

In order to make the events more accessible, these Called events will run in three different formats across the year:

  • One day conference format
    Next dates: Saturday 15 June 2019
  • Two day weekend retreat
    Next dates: Winter term (dates tbc)
  • Five week evening course

Next dates: March 2020

The new course ran for the first time in January this year. Here are some comments from those who attended:

“Extremely helpful to explore vocation options”

“It was an extremely well- thought out course. The pace was good and met the needs of a diverse group of people, all of whom were made to feel welcomed and valued. There was a clear structure, but scope for fluidity; the Holy Spirit was definitely at work.”

“Offered people the opportunity to hear from and talk to people who have been through this and are actively following their individual vocations”

“I realised that vocation is a lifetime journey not a specific end point to be striving for”

“It reminded me of the need to find time to just be with and listen to God. If I don’t stop and listen, it’s a lot harder to hear.”

If you are interested in attending or would like a conversation about how you can discover more about your part in God’s mission, go to the Vocation pages on the Diocese website or contact DDO & Vocations Adviser, The Rev’d Ellie Clack, on or Serving Christ Learning Mentor, Jen Thornton, on

What is ‘good fruit’ when you are a leader?

In the natural order of things, plants produce fruit containing seeds. The fruit falls to the ground, rots away and leaves the seed surrounded by nutrients to grow up into a new plant which produces more fruit and thus the survival of the species is assured. The part we call fruit is merely the vessel for the precious seed.

Over time, we have bred some fruit in such a way that they contain no seeds at all, or only few, small seeds. These fruits are far easier and more convenient to eat, as anyone trying to decide how to politely spit out the pips from an orange, or feed their child grapes will know.

However, these fruits bred for convenience often mean no new plant can grow from that produce. The seedless fruit may be good for eating, but it makes no contribution to the survival of its species – it has no seed of future life in it.

If you have an orchard, what do you need? Good, tasty fruit to sell and eat now, but also fruit containing seeds that you can then plant and nurture to grow more apple trees and secure the future of your orchard.

In some ways, leadership can be likened to these trees within the orchard. Does our style of leadership produce good fruit for now, which is tasty and convenient, but then rot away leaving no seed for future growth? Or does the fruit we produce contain the seeds of the future?

As leaders, how do we find the balance between producing great outcomes now, and investing in and nurturing others in order to secure the future sustainability of our cause or organisation?

How do we find the balance between producing great outcomes now, and investing in and nurturing others for the future?

In a previous role, I managed a team of volunteers to run a charity shop. In my time there I met many other great managers whose shops were successful and had a reliable group of dedicated volunteers supporting them. Over time, many of these managers moved on to pastures new and I began to notice a pattern in the shops they left behind. Whilst they waited for a new manager, the team dwindled and the shop was often closed, sometimes due to lack of volunteers, sometimes because the volunteers they had did not know how to do essential tasks. I knew how much the managers cared about their shops and how heart-breaking it must be to see their shops struggling after their departure and I resolved that I didn’t want to see my shop do the same.

So how would I ensure my team of volunteers could continue to flourish and keep the shop open without me?

I changed my job title in my head from ‘manager’ to ‘facilitator’. Instead of managing the team to run my shop, I would facilitate the team to run their shop. I sought to train up the volunteers to do as many different tasks as possible, so that on any one shift multiple people could do each role. I looked for the natural leaders within the team and gave them extra input, giving them authority to look after certain areas and encouraging them to try new things. I gave them all the information I had as the manager so they could make good decisions together. My goal was that they could run the shop without me and also that by the time I left, someone else within the team would be equipped and competent to take on the role of ‘facilitator’ after me.



I changed my job title in my head from ‘manager’ to ‘facilitator’

To do this was hard work. Some days it would have been a lot easier to do the tasks myself. It would have been quicker too, and I confess to thinking sometimes the results might have been better – they were still learning after all! It also meant that I rarely got to take credit for work myself as I always had someone else to redirect it to – and for someone who tends to depend on praise to maintain her self-esteem this was a particular challenge!

However, then there were the days when the shop ran like clockwork and I stood in the middle of the room twiddling my thumbs wondering what to do with myself, as every task I thought of was already being proficiently completed by a volunteer. There was the reward of seeing someone who previously thought of themselves as fairly dispensable begin to flourish and develop new skills and confidence within a supportive community. There was the odd mix of delight and mild panic when you came back from your holiday and the volunteers proudly told you the shop had made more money in your absence than it usually did when you were there… delight for the team, mild panic because did that mean they didn’t need you anymore?! 

We often think of a successful leader as someone who is confident and competent; getting all the different tasks done and getting great results. We think that as the leader, we need to be able to do everything; hold it all together, and that by passing on tasks to others we are abdicating our responsibility.

However, the long term impact of a leader tells us more about their ‘successes’. What happens when they retire, change roles, or move away? Do the results continue to be great? Do the teams continue to function well? Is the culture and atmosphere of positivity sustained? If we are the type of leader who coordinates everything, a leader whom every task and team member depends on, then when we leave, how will the team continue to function at the standard we achieved?

We need to be leaders who invest in the future and we do this by investing in and empowering those around us; in equipping the next generations to lead; in passing on our authority to make decisions, in creating an environment that encourages learning (often by allowing people to make mistakes). 

It takes more energy to bear fruit containing the seeds of the future, but the future of our ministry depends upon it.


If you’re interested in exploring how to empower others, do get in touch for a chat.


In a recent blog I encouraged those of us who are inherently ‘busy’ people to take steps to rest and spend time with God as a priority. As part of that, there will be tasks we are doing that we need to hand over to someone else, whether giving them complete responsibility, or by delegating aspects of the task to another person.

So how do we do this?

To delegate is to entrust a task or responsibility to another person. We see a couple of really clear examples of this being used in the Bible; with Moses, and the Apostles.

In Exodus 18, God has just brought the Israelites out from under the rule of Pharaoh in Egypt with Moses as their leader. So we catch up with Moses as he tries to carry out his new responsibility of managing the disputes and needs of the newly freed Israelites as they negotiate life in the desert, whilst still finding time to seek God and His direction for them. It’s a pretty daunting task, and that’s before we remember that there are around 600,000 men, besides women and children! I think it is safe to assume that Moses was a busy man.

Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law swings by for a visit. He watches Moses in action for a day, and then gives Moses some advice: delegate. He points out that Moses’ current method of doing it all himself will result in both himself and the people being worn out. It’s working for no one. He suggests Moses appoints capable leaders who fear God and are trustworthy to serve over smaller denominations of people, with Moses focusing on the task of seeking God and teaching the people. ‘That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.’ (vs.22) 

‘That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.’ Exodus 18:22


We see the Apostles faced with a similar situation in Acts 6. The early church is growing fast and the Apostles are carrying out their tasks of teaching the word and prayer, but they’re also trying to handle the increasing conflicts between the different members of the church about who gets what food. They recognise that the time they’re giving to resolve these conflicts is causing them to neglect the ministry of the word that they have been called to, and so they take action: they delegate. They appoint 7 men, full of the Spirit and of wisdom and give them the responsibility of handling the food allocations. This releases the Apostles to carry out their ministry. Do you know what happens as a result of this? ‘So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly.’ (vs.7) That’s a pretty great outcome.

So how does this apply to your situation? I imagine it is unlikely that you are in charge of over a million people, but each of us, whether at home, work or church, can be faced with tasks and responsibilities which seem overwhelming. We are also probably familiar with the frustration of being bogged down with day-to-day urgent tasks and therefore unable to focus on the things we feel are most important, perhaps the things we feel most gifted towards or called to. So here is your action: delegate. 

You have to invest time in this in the short term to make time long term

Now I hear you saying it: “there’s no one else who knows how to do it and I don’t have time to train anyone!” I have been there and I agree – it is rather unusual to find someone skilled and willing just waiting to help you and identifying and training someone new can be time consuming. But you have to invest time in this in the short term to make time long term.  


First you need to identify the right person. In the passages above we see Moses choose capable men who fear God and are trustworthy. Similarly the Apostles chose those full of the Spirit and of wisdom. What I find interesting here is that there is as much emphasis on the chosen people’s character and attitude to God as there is on their ability. I think this is something we often overlook when assessing someone’s suitability for a responsibility. I encourage you to prayerfully consider who to choose – seek God’s wisdom and discernment and remember He doesn’t always choose the obvious person.

Once you have identified someone to delegate to, you will need to train them and give them the authority they need to carry out the task on your behalf. There is a widely used model for delegation that you may find helpful:



This model shows the process of delegating a task to someone. You start by letting them observe how you do the task and talking to them about what is involved. You then get them to help you with the task, giving them parts of it to try. Gradually you switch roles so they are doing the task with your assistance. Finally, you step back and observe as they have a go by themselves. At each stage you will need to be talking to each other to check understanding and to clarify or correct. 

This process might take 5 minutes for a small task, or months for a bigger project handover. Try not to cut corners, as you’ll probably find the whole task back in your lap when they struggle and fail without having had good initial support. Ultimately, once they are able to do the task confidently, they can then begin training up another person, and so we raise up and multiply lots of leaders to share the load.


By choosing to delegate, we not only free ourselves up to focus on the tasks which only we can do, but we also create opportunities for others to grow and flourish in their character,  gifts and ministry. As I look back on my life, I am able to do my current roles thanks to someone somewhere in my journey seeing potential in me and entrusting me with responsibility. Take the opportunity today to give this chance to someone you know.

we create opportunities for others to grow and flourish

If you would like some help with how to delegate in your role, please get in touch!

A word to the busy…

‘When you want something doing, ask a busy person’. This saying is often said in jest, but it has its basis in reality. Often there are a small number of people doing a large chunk of the work. When a new task comes along, those people are already in the habit of doing, of planning, of meeting deadlines, so squeezing one extra thing in is a possibly a nuisance, but manageable. They either volunteer willingly or are volunteered by others who see them as capable.

Does this sound familiar? Nowadays it feels as though ‘busy’ has surpassed ‘fine’ as the most common response to the question ‘How are you?’. We repeatedly tell everyone how busy we are, as if busyness is a virtue. Yet my sense is that we are more tired, less healthy and less productive despite our unending efforts.

In Luke 10, we’re introduced to Martha. Now Martha gets a bad rap sometimes, but I’m pretty fond of her as I think we have a lot in common! Martha has opened her home to Jesus and those with him and is rushing around preparing a meal for them. She is being hospitable and this is not wrong – Jesus showing up at your house is kind of a big deal! However, in her desire to serve their meal, she has missed an opportunity to sit with the Lord and learn from Him. With her focus narrowed in on the tasks that need doing, she looks to her sister for help, and sees that Mary is doing nothing. This is unfair! We don’t know whether Martha is just annoyed that her sister is doing nothing while she has to work, or whether she is longing to be there with Mary and Jesus, and wants Mary’s help so they can finish faster. Either way, she cries out to Jesus and His words to Martha make something clear. Time with Him is the priority. Don’t be so distracted and focussed on the things you are doing, that you miss out on the moments of being with God.


Is this something you do? As a busy person, I certainly can become focused on the important tasks on my to-do list, and they often are important. However in my focus on those tasks, I can put off and put off my quiet times until the tasks are all done…but I never quite get to the end of that list. I cry out to God that it’s unfair and I need help to get through my list! But I think what Jesus said to Martha is His message to us too: stop and spend time just being with Him. Stop before the list is complete, even when there is a pressing deadline. Don’t miss those special moments in God’s presence.

Don’t be so distracted and focused on the things you are doing that you miss out on the moments of being with God

Your value does not depend on what you achieve

Busy person: your value is not based on how much you do. Your value does not depend on what you achieve, nor is it impacted by another’s opinion of you. You are a precious and valued child of God. Your identity as His beloved child is unshakeable. First and foremost, that is who you are, by His grace. Just let that sink in.

Our Father God invites us to rest. He gave us the command to keep the Sabbath, a day of rest set apart to the Lord. He knows we need it and it demonstrates our trust in Him that we stop for a day, believing He will provide for our needs despite our lack of work, as we rest in Him. After Jesus sends out the twelve disciples and they have returned full of stories of all the things they have done, Jesus responds by saying: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” He knows what we need, a pattern of work and rest. The world will not stop spinning if you step out of the flow for a break.

So let’s look at that to-do list of yours for a moment, not to see what task to cross off next, but to prayerfully consider the content. As you look down the list, take a few moments to ponder these questions:

  • What is your attitude towards this list? 
    Do you grumble your way through it? Procrastinate? Enjoy the challenge? 
  • How many of the tasks relate to a role or responsibility you have? 
    Are they essential tasks? If not, what is their purpose? Is the number of roles you do sustainable? 
  • Which ones do you enjoy? 
    Which are you good at? Which drain your energy? 
  • Which tasks could be done by someone else? 
    Why are you doing these tasks? What prevents you from handing them over to someone else? 
  • Do you fear not being busy? 
    Why/why not? 
  • Does spending time with God always get pushed to the bottom of your list? 
    Why might this happen?

I encourage you to take a marker to your to-do list and blot out any unnecessary tasks. Take steps to delegate and pass on tasks that you don’t need to be doing (more on how to do this in a future post). But most importantly, fight to protect and prioritise your time with the Lord. Whatever that looks like for you, be it quiet prayer and bible study, a walk in the countryside, getting to the midweek Eucharist – whatever helps you encounter God and know Him more, prioritise it. Rest in Him. He will strengthen and nourish you with His love and grace. This is your choice.

whatever helps you encounter God and know Him more, prioritise it

Time for a retreat?

At work we are assigned three days for retreat each year. Initially I was excited by this – what an amazing gift to be given three days to intentionally quiet myself enough to hear God’s voice and to rest in His presence. I’d heard of retreats and dabbled in a few quiet mornings but this was a new opportunity for me. Then, being me, I began to overthink the idea and became daunted by it, thinking that because it was for work I would need to show evidence that I had been productive and made good use of my retreat and fretting about how I would do that. With this anxiety creeping in, instead of taking steps to plan my retreat days I shelved the idea and put them on my long term to do list.


 I began to overthink the idea and became daunted by it

In the meantime, Lisa (Learning Mentor for Passionate Spirituality) and I began drawing together plans to put on a Lay Leadership Retreat. We had both independently identified a need for some of our most committed lay leaders in churches, especially wardens, to be given space away from their responsibilities to encounter God and rest in Him. Our desire was to gather the tired and worn out and bless them. Our hope and prayer is that they will be refreshed and renewed by God’s love and grace and go back into their workplaces and ministries secure in His strength and provision.

So here I am, preparing and planning to provide a retreat for others; meditating on the passages about God being the source of our strength and the need to sink our roots down into him to sustain us through the droughts. I’m praying about what prayer stations to create to help people respond and engage. I’m thinking about how we can encourage those who might be hesitant about signing up to come and what might be stopping them and pondering how, as leaders, we can empower people to take retreats by leading by example and taking them ourselves. And into my head pops the thought of those three retreat days I’ve put off arranging. Hmm. I can’t ignore this.


Today, I’m taking the confusion of my excited and anxious feelings about retreat to God. I’ve read a few blogs on how to prepare for retreats and what different styles of retreat there are. I’ve wondered what sort of retreat I should do and what God might want to speak to me about. And I have gathered up my courage and taken steps to book a retreat day next month.

I’m taking the confusion of my excited and anxious feelings about retreat to God

I am still uncertain about it, and I’m not sure whether that feeling will go away as it is unknown territory I’m heading into. However, I am excited to create the space for prolonged time to seek God and to learn more of Him and I am looking forward to resting with the God who ‘restores my soul’.

If you, like me, are a little uncertain about doing a retreat; if you need a nudge to get something booked in, can I encourage you to go for it?


You can find information about the Lay Leadership Retreat our team is running on the Events page of this website. There are also a number of local retreat centres and quiet gardens you could explore, including Charlecote Quiet GardenHouse of BreadRed Hill Christian Centre and Launde Abbey.

Gifts without love are meaningless

Wedding season has begun in earnest, kicked off by the royal celebrations. As many of us look forward to celebrating with friends and family, I’m pondering one of the bible passages most commonly read in wedding ceremonies and how it applies to us as a church family.

It was only when I sat down with a friend to help her choose a bible reading for their upcoming nuptials and was asked to explain the context of 1 Corinthians 13 that I realised that the familiar passage on love was really meant for much more than marriage. Taken out of its place between chapter 12 and 14, we miss Paul’s point, conveniently narrowing down the passage to verses 4-8 so it makes for a more wedding appropriate reading.

But Paul wasn’t talking about a couple. In chapter 12 he has been instructing the Corinthian church about the use of Spiritual Gifts, and he continues to refer to the gifts throughout chapter 13 and into chapter 14. The chapter breaks that were added in the early 13th Century by the then Archbishop of Canterbury, Stephen Langton, can sometimes mean we lose the flow and connection between chapters, as I had done here.

So how does this passage about love fit into the teachings about Spiritual Gifts within the church?

Paul gives examples of dramatic displays of spiritual gifts, inspiring demonstrations which most of us could never imagine performing and would be seriously impressed to see (I mean have you honestly ever dreamed you would be able to move a mountain?). He then tells us that they are worth nothing, when they are done without love. They will not win hearts for the Kingdom, because without love, they are empty. This evidence of God’s power, these impressive acts will ring with insincerity when we are simultaneously envious and critical of each other, living lives that do not match our words. What kind of a witness to God is that?

impressive acts will ring with insincerity when we are living lives that do not match our words

Love is a fruit of the Spirit. These eternal qualities are developed in us by the Spirit as we grow in maturity in our faith. Paul is reminding us that we need to be striving to grow spiritual fruit through the development of our character, alongside the use of our spiritual gifts:

‘…serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” …the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.’ Galatians 5:13-14, 22-23

Spiritual gifts used without love do not reflect who God is, or have a kingdom impact

If we are seeking to use and serve with our spiritual gifts, but do not do so from a place of love, if love for the Lord and for our church family is not evident in our daily life, then our acts are missing the vital ingredient. Our attitude matters. Spiritual gifts used without love do not reflect who God is, or have a kingdom impact. ‘God is love’ (1 John 4:16) and the love we show each other is the evidence of our faith; as Jesus said: 

‘By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.’ John 13:35

We are called to use our gifts in love. We are called to glorify God and edify each other with love. And Paul gives us a detailed list of what this love looks like:

‘Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I invite you to pause and dwell on this passage. Highlight the different attributes of love that you see. How many of us can look at this list, in the light of how we serve our church, and feel confident that we live up to this definition of love? How many of us strive to do so? Which elements do you struggle with?

There is usually some reason, some excuse we give as to why we have fallen short. But be honest with yourself because this is important; our character matters. Take some time now to ask the Lord to help you to grow in these areas over the coming weeks.

Influencing Culture

It is well known that children learn by imitating those around them. This is evidenced to best effect when they confidently say a word or phrase in company that you uttered in an unguarded moment and really regret! As we grow older, we continue to mimic those around us that we admire; whether it be trying to perfect the exact style of our favourite footballers kick, or fix our hair just like that actor. We copy behaviours too, particularly of those we admire; perhaps celebrities, teachers, friends, managers or parents. If we thought about it, all of us could admit to imitating others at times, modelling ourselves on someone we aspire to be like.

Have you ever considered that others might be modelling themselves on you?

If you hold a position of influence, whether as a parent, a leader or friend, chances are high that others are watching your behaviour and imitating it. Does that thought make you feel honoured, or are you squirming a little? Those of us in leadership positions need to be particularly aware that if we behave in a certain way, some of those following us will assume that we’re condoning that behaviour, that it is acceptable, and therefore okay for them to do as well.

If you hold a position of influence, chances are high that others are watching your behaviour and imitating it.

What behaviours might they see in you that you might wish them not to copy? Is there a pervading culture that has a negative effect on your group? Perhaps it is gossip, negativity, busyness or bickering. Now take a good, honest look at yourself and ask whether you have any part in perpetuating this. Maybe you don’t, but if you realise you do, now is the time to own that responsibility and begin to address it with the Lord’s help.

Sometimes, it might be necessary to openly share your error and seek forgiveness. By doing this you encourage others to follow your example of confession and humility and you can then begin the process of change as a group. Don’t let your pride get in the way of this. In Philippians 2, Paul points us to the example of Jesus’ humility, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” We are all broken people, and as leaders we need to climb down from the pedestals society places us on.

Be encouraged – this also presents a great opportunity, because people will also imitate your good habits! By modelling the behaviour you want to see, you have the potential to be a massive influence on the culture of the group you lead, whether in your community, family, work place or church.

By modelling the behaviour you want to see, you have the potential to be a massive influence on the culture of the group you lead

So what do you long to see change in your context? Would you love to see more kindness shown? Be more kind. Do you wish your group shared more openly about their struggles? Be willing to be vulnerable and open with them about yours. Do you wish your team grumbled less? Choose to find things to be thankful for in each situation you encounter and share these thoughts with your team. Do you have a team of worn out workers? Model rest and Sabbath for them, set boundaries for your own work or ministry and you will empower them to do the same. If you work yourself into the ground, many will feel the same is expected of them.

We need to be aware of how our character and behaviour influences others, and remember the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 11: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”

Can we confidently encourage those we lead to follow our example? We can only do this if we are continually spending time understanding and following the example of Christ, modelling our character on His.

So you know your spiritual gifts – what now?

In the early days of doing this role, I spent some time investigating the different ways available for people to discover their spiritual gifts. What I came across was a wealth of different questionnaires; some free, some expensive; some stand alone, some part of a course; some listing 19 gifts, others 30; but most looking exceedingly similar to each other. I confess to completing quite a few myself, being intrigued to discover whether they came out with the same results…which they generally did.

So many ways exist to explore what your spiritual gifts might be, but once you have filled in a form and identified some gifts, what then?

1 Peter 4:10 says ‘Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.’ 

So we’re called to use our gifts to serve others. But who? And How?

We often lack imagination when we think about how our gifts can be used. We look at the tasks that need doing in church and the gaps on the rota and try to fit ourselves into the spaces that exist. However, we have a God who is much more creative than that! What if He has a plan for you that looks different to what you expected? Let’s be brave and willing to explore with Him.

We often lack imagination when we think about how our gifts can be used

I suggest you start by thinking about the following questions:

  • What are you passionate about?
  • What frustrates you?
  • What do you long to see change in your church or community?
  • What brings you joy?

The answers to these questions will begin to uncover some people and causes which God has put on your heart. Spend time reflecting on your answers and allow God to identify an area or group of people to whom he is calling you.

Next, consider what other abilities and life experience you have.

  • Name the things you’re good at.
  • What do you know a lot about?
  • What comes naturally to you?
  • What have you learned from experiences in your past (good or bad) that enables you to help others in a special way?

This will help you explore how you could use your gifts to serve the areas you identified and begin to address some of the changes you want to see.

When you are exploring these questions, it is helpful to involve others in the conversation who know you well and can support you as you move into your ministry. I encourage you to talk with your vicar, small group leader or a friend. Not only will they be able to pray with you and offer insight, they will often be in a position to open doors for you and create opportunities for you to develop.

If you want to find out more about discovering your Spiritual Gifts and exploring how you are called to use them to join in with God’s mission, you can get in touch with me here.